A revisiting (Part I)

i had written this for a girl, months ago, though we don't talk much anymore.

I was taken by a dream in my sleep the other night. I slipped into a

deep slumber, remembering only the photograph on the mantle near the bed before collapsing into a total dreamscape. In this dream I am me,

and I am reading a book. The book is no regular title and I cannot recall

the name of it either, but it is a story about a girl who lives in a

garden, a beautiful, green garden where the sun is always shining and

the flowers never die. Dandelions, roses, daffodils and the like, all

grow with a vitality that warrants mentioning. In this garden she is

surrounded by countless butterflies. They could carry her away at any

moment but in the garden with her they are peaceful.

 

Now while I am reading this book a strange thing begins to occur. The

lights around me start to dim and the room becomes extremely small. I

find that my arms are pressed directly against the walls now and I

start to fear that I may be crushed alive. In an instant an escape

reveals itself to me and I dive directly into the pages of the book.

I am suddenly swimming in a black lake that was once the letter "M".

It is very cold and dark. I try to find some sort of mark in the

distance, something to position myself by but only darkness returns

my gaze.

 

That is when I begin to sink. All around like mud the lake becomes

murky and thick, something of what I imagine a tar pit to feel like.

and I am sinking, terrified, an uncontrollable fear envelops me as I

battle with all of my might to stay above the suffocating liquid.

Struggling. Battling. Fighting to stay alive. Then black. Like a

chalk board wiped clean. Everything disappears. Am I dead? I cannot

possibly be of the deceased. I can still breathe, talk, and think. But all

I see is a sheet of black. Then, like a freight train at full speed

everything hits me and I see where I am.

 

I am alive. In a meadow or field of some sort. Never once in my life

have I been so happy to see the sun in the sky. An overwhelming

relief flows through me. This place is almost heaven, yet just a

field. It is not until I began to explore my newfound environment that

I realize where I am. This is the garden. I can see the white fence

surrounding the assortment of flowers, all rising above the fence

line as if to greet me. This beautiful scene that I was only reading

about what seemed like a lifetime ago. I approach the fence where a

gate is attached and opens it. I enter the garden and become instantly

engulfed by butterflies. What a feeling it was. Hundreds, thousands,

too many too count floating by like clouds. They abstract my vision

briefly and just briefly I flash back to the terrible place I had

just been. Briefly, and then, like a rainbow parting cloudy skies, I

see her.

 

Never before has a sight literally taken my breath away. I begin to

imagine all the sights, all the wonders of this world, and I think to

myself if any of those things could cause me to react in this way and

almost as quick as I think that thought I answer it. No. This girl,

this beautiful piece of creation could never be rivaled by anything

else this world might offer. She just stood there, her hair dancing

in the wind, with a gaze locked so tight on my own that the Gods themselves

could not break it. And still she just stands there like a goddess

and I feel as if I am cheating the rest of the world by looking upon

her. Those gorgeous, blue eyes, like something of the purest skies. I

would fly into them to live forever if given the chance. Peace and

love is in those eyes.

 

So I start to approach her. Every-step I take is emphasized by tiny

butterflies rising up from the ground. And as I pass the row of

orchids I come right up to her. I pause for a moment and we share a

look as if two lost souls finally finding the other. I try to compose

myself, try to find the right words, but before I can utter a

syllable this woman leans her head over to my ear and softly whispers

the words, "never forget my voice."

 

And then, like a knife to the heart, I am awake. In the land of the

living. those words still ringing in my head, vaguely reminding me of

something that once was. I can never forget her now. the most vivid

dream ever dreamt. The woman from my book and of my dream. If we

could only dream forever...