homonyms

you wake up from a dream, sweating and gasping, reaching for the nightstand, swatting at flashing reds in the dark, landing on a switch, lighting the fear, thinking, rubbing, sobbing, dripping, kicking at the covers, wiping your face, swimming but not, unknowing, breathing deeply, looking, seeing, watching - a spider on the wall, spinning his web in a corner, and realizing this has meant nothing.


dear caroline,

i was in love with you five or so years ago. just about five years. maybe a few more. in secret as a matter of fact. you didn't know then. none of them knew, actually. i loved a lot of people back then, you see. in secret. all of them didn't know. at least i don't think they knew. maybe you were the one to come closest. to finding out, i mean. maybe one other, but i'm not entirely sure. well, that's about it really. i'm not sending this. they'll find it long after i'm gone. so long, caroline.

regards,
j.c. beckwith
18.7.1932


...
...
...
...
we haven't a coherent, concrete thought in days. days!
i'm aware of that.
are you? because fro-
yes!
...
i'm aware.
...
what?
what?
what?
what?!
i don't know. you tell me.
no.
c'mon.
no.
tell me.
no.
tell me!
...
...
fine.
go on.
i was just think-
*yawn*
see?! see that?!
see what?
that, asshole. that right there!
whhaaaatttt?
god damn you.
i'm tired.
god. damn. you.
i just-
no. no! you just what?
i just-
what?!
...
okay man.
okay what?
okay.
okay?
yup.
okay what?
...
...
...
huh.
yep.
...
...
so listen, about earlier.
what about it?
well, i was just tired you know.
so.
so i was tired.
so.
so i'm telling you now.
i don't care now.
of course.
of course.
that's convenient.
i know.
god damn you.
you started this.
me? you!
you!
you, you slick bastard.
*finger*
alright, man.
alright.
alright.
alright!!
...
...
...
...



Wake up, Charles.
Who-what is this?
It?s time to start over. We?re starting over.
What?
It?s time.
Who is this?
Who do you think, Charles? This is God.
Where am I? That?s impossible.
It?s not, Charles.
I don?t believe in God.
I know. But that will change. It all will.
What the Hell are you talking about? Where am I?!
I?m talking about the Universe, Charles. Life.
What about it?
It?s going to end. We?re going to end it all?


[Some time ago?]