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down by the river where the sun stays out and the moon waits by the window a black haired man washes his face. knees bent at the shore he looks into the water and sees what he used to be. "where were you when she walked away?" the man in the water asks him. "where were you then?" and he thinks to himself like he does every day at dawn and tries to find the answer to the question. "i don't have the answer to that. not today." he responds. and a breeze picks up, kicking rocks at his self. the water ripples and the man disappears and the black haired one thinks to himself like he does every day at dawn. another voice from the distance, riding the winds like a paper airplane. "where are you going with that heart of yours so dangerously exposed like that?" he says. the man turns and looks for the source but fails to locate it. and he thinks to himself like he does every day at dawn that maybe he thinks too much.

"Sea Dog"

Colin Beckwith wrote this in a dream in the winter of '89. It goes:

Dear Anne-Marie,

It seems like forever since I last wrote to you. What was it that you always used to say when things got like this? Anyways, I supposed it's irrelevant now.

My mind has been fading, it seems, or drifting but never returning in the same state that it left. Moreso than before. I think the move has had the opposite effect than what I had hoped. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know.

I went outside the other day. I took a walk down to the river. It was frozen but it wasn't as cold outside as you think it'd be. I walked a path along the side of the river. I didn't have my camera. I don't know why. I always have my camera and there were so many beautiful shots I could have taken. But I didn't. I saw deer. Two of them. They were under a tree, just enjoying themselves. I turned around and headed back home.

Do you know what I saw the other night? I'll tell you. I was sitting outside on the porch and I saw a shooting star. But it didn't stop, you know? It didn't dissipate half way across the sky. It kept going. I think it may have landed somewhere. Well, not landed so much as maybe just crashed into something. I want to find it. I think it may have crashed a few miles outside of Halifax on the southern side.

Did you know that Cap'n Crunch had a pet? His name was "Sea Dog".

I don't know why I'm still here, Anne-Marie. What I'm looking for. What I'm expecting to find. I don't seem to know much of anything these days. I can't shake that feeling. I'm thinking of coming home, Anne-Marie. I know enough time hasn't passed but I think I may go insane if I stay here alone for much longer. "No man is an island." That's what you would always say! I knew I'd remember.

I should be wrapping this up now. I have to make it into town before dusk. I'll need some supplies if I'm going to track down that star. I think I can find it. I'll make sure to bring my camera to take a picture of it and I'll show it to you when I come back.

Can't wait to see you, Anne-Marie. Until then…


Regards,
Colin Beckwith
January 13th, 1989